Addiction Read online

  Shaking my head, I finish off the glass of wine, and then say, “I need a refill.” Ava grins, and I get up off the couch, as I quickly make my way towards the kitchen to refill my glass.

  Walking back to the couch, I flop down, making sure to hold my glass up high so not to spill it, as I say, “Let’s talk about something else. My relationship problems are giving me a headache. How’s Gabbie’s birthday party planning coming along? Do you need any help getting everything ready for it?”

  Thankfully, she lets the conversation slide to something easier to talk about. “Well, Mom has pretty much taken over, especially since we’re so close to her. You know how my mom can be,” she says, laughing.

  “That’s true. Ella is a good party planner. She wouldn’t let me help, even if I begged her,too. She barely let me help with your wedding,” I joke, but Ava knows I’m not lying.

  “I’m just glad it’s one less thing I have to worry about, and I hope this little boy stays put,” she says with a smile, glancing down at her swollen belly. “At least, until after the party. Gabbie is excited though, and she’s really hoping her new baby brother comes on her actual birthday.”

  Smiling, I glance at her belly, wondering what being pregnant feels like. Would it be strange, having a living person growing inside of you? Feeling Ava’s gaze on me, I look up, and then ask, “What?”

  Her head tilts, and I know she’s picked up that trait from Viktor. He does the same thing, when he’s trying to figure someone out. “Do you want to feel? He’s kicking up a storm right now.”

  I swallow hard, suddenly feeling nervous about touching her stomach. I haven’t really done so, mostly because I know how many times she’s complained about random strangers touching her. It’s weird for sure, and I don’t want to make things weird, either.

  Ava however doesn’t get that I’m a bit freaked out by touching her stomach, since she reaches over, grabbing my hand. With my hand resting on her belly, my heart jumps, as the little guy kicks her hard.

  “Does it hurt, when he does that?”

  “Sometimes. It just depends on where he lands those blows.”

  He kicks again, and I begin to smile. “What’s it feel like? Being pregnant, I mean.”

  Ava sighs, before saying, “It’s hard to explain, but it’s the best feeling in the world. It isn’t strange at all, but that could be all the awesome hormones telling me that. I love being able to feel him move and kick around.” Glancing up, she has a content look on her face, as if she is simply happy, while this little guy kicks the crap out of her. “I actually love being pregnant, but don’t tell Vik that. If it were up to him, I would be knocked up all the time,” she adds quickly.

  Letting out a laugh, I take my hand off her stomach, and then lean back against the couch. “Deal, as long as you finally spill the beans about his name,” I say, pointing to her stomach.

  “I think we’ve finally decided on one,” she claims with a huge grin. I hold out my hand, waiting for her to stop leaving me in suspense. “Alexei. His name is Alexei.”

  “I really like that. Sticking with the Russian names, I see,” I say, teasing her.

  “I can’t help it. I love everything about Russians.”

  Raising my eyebrows, I take a drink of wine, before saying, “And I’m sure a certain Russian has nothing to do with that.”

  Ava laughs, knowing it has everything to do with Viktor, but I understand the appeal. Sebastian’s accent just adds to my attraction, so in a way, I get it. The Matvei boys are just hard to resist.

  “Speaking of Russians,” she starts, and awkwardly gets up off the couch. “I’m going to go check in on mine and pee.” Once she’s standing upright, she adds, “I feel like Alexei’s favorite spot to kick is my bladder.”

  Laughing, as she walks out of the room, I sigh, and then relax back into the couch. I take a long drink of the sweet, red wine, thinking over everything Ava and I have been talking about. However, I don’t get too far lost into my thoughts, since my phone pings with a text. Quickly opening my phone, I grin widely, seeing Sebastian’s name.

  S: Come over.

  Me: Are you always this demanding?

  S: Yes.

  S: Don’t make me tell you again.

  Me: Bossy tonight. I like it, when you boss me around.

  S: I know, and you know how much I hate it, when you disobey me.

  I let out a laugh, knowing he’s right, but he is half lying. He does like it, when I disobey him just so he can punish me for it. Taking another drink of wine, I begin to feel antsy. Thinking about his hand on my ass, delivering those hard blows, is starting to turn me on.

  Me: Liar. You love it.

  S: Trixie.

  I roll my eyes, knowing he’s giving me one final warning. I could keep going back and forth with him, but that could possibly back fire on me. He’s the worst about making me wait, or purposely avoiding giving me what I want the most.

  Me: I can’t come over tonight.

  S: Why not?

  My heart thrums in my chest, wondering if he’s genuinely concerned. What I wouldn’t give to know what he’s thinking right now.

  S: Is something wrong? Are you alright?

  Me: I’m fine. I’m over at Ava and Viktor’s house, and I’ve been drinking.

  S: Stay there.

  Me: Yes, sir.

  When he doesn’t message me back after a few moments, I assume he got busy, or he’s happy that I’m not driving home. I had no intention of drinking tonight, but it was hard to resist the offered wine and girl talk.

  Letting out a sigh, I set my phone down onto the coffee table. Disappointment rolls off me in waves, but I don’t understand why, until Ava returns with Viktor right on her heels. Downing the last bit of the wine, I hate that I’m feeling jealous of my best friend. It’s a strange feeling, too.

  It’s not that I’m not happy for her, because I am. Viktor is so good to Ava, and he literally would do anything for her. It’s just … I want that, too. I want someone to hold my hand, as we walk down the stairs. I want someone to caress me tenderly with love in their eyes.

  I want someone to love me unconditionally.

  Feeling guilty, I look away from my friend, keeping my gaze down. I hear them talking in Russian, and for once, I’m glad I don’t know what’s being said. I’m sure they’re professing their love, or if Viktor is anything like his brother, it’s something more erotic. Either way, I’m thankful I don’t understand them. It makes the bitter pill easier to swallow.

  “Are you sure you’re okay with the pull out?” Ava asks, as she helps me get my bed ready for the night.

  “Of course, this is perfectly fine.” I don’t add there isn’t any other option, unless I want to snuggle with Gabbie. I could, but I also know how crazy that kid sleeps. The last thing I want is to wake up with a black eye. “Thank you for letting me stay, and for the sleep shirt.”

  Thankfully, Ava had some extra t-shirts, and was kind enough to let me borrow one. Next time, I will remind myself to bring an overnight bag just in case.

  “You’re welcome, and you already know you can stay anytime you want.” Just as I finish placing the pillows on the bed, a knock sounds at the door. “Who the hell is here this late,” Ava questions with a frown.

  Before she can go to the door, Viktor rushes past her, beating her to it. I hold back a laugh, as Ava turns back to me with an annoyed glance. As she shakes her head, Viktor opens the door, and nerves suddenly fill my stomach. I’m not sure why I’m freaking out, but the feeling is there, whether I like it or not. As soon as Viktor moves to the side, I realize why I’m feeling nervous.

  Sebastian walks inside, and as soon as he’s through the threshold, his gaze finds mine.

  My face warms, as his intense and hungry eyes stay locked on mine. Is that why he told me to stay here, so he could come over? If so, why not just tell me? Is that why I felt so nervous before? Honestly, deep down, I wished for this very moment. I wanted him beside me, doing whatever he wan
ted to do.

  And now, he’s standing a few feet in front of me.

  “So, are you staying, too?” Ava asks him.

  Suddenly, I worry Viktor and Ava aren’t okay with this. I never once thought it would be weird for them, and I feel like an asshole. I’m already crashing on their pull out couch, and now, Sebastian is most likely going to stay, too.

  “If you’re alright with it, I would like to stay,” Sebastian politely answers, and my heart begins to race, as I wait for Viktor to shut him down.

  When Viktor glances at me, I hold still, wondering what his answer will be. He raises an eyebrow, before turning back to his brother, saying something to him in Russian. Irritation flows through me, knowing Viktor must not want me to know what he’s saying. Looking over at Ava, her face flames, as she covers her mouth. Confusion and worry make my stomach drop, before I realize she’s holding back a laugh.

  She lets it slip, as she says, “Vik, come on. Let’s go to bed.”

  Viktor lays a hand on Sebastian’s shoulder, and then he grabs his wife’s hand. Once he leads her to the stairs, he turns back to me, saying, “Goodnight.”

  Glancing back to Sebastian, I ask, “What the hell was that?”

  He doesn’t answer me, but instead, he makes sure that the door is locked, and then slowly takes off his socks, followed by his shoes. Next is his belt, followed by his watch. The more I watch him the more the need inside of me grows. It starts out slow, but now, the flames are trying to consume me.

  As he begins to unbutton his shirt, I swallow. His gaze is on mine, and who knew watching a man undress could be so damn sexy. His green eyes never once waver, as he takes off his shirt, and then tosses it on the back of the couch. I begin to pant, as my eyes roam over his naked chest. My fingers even twitch, wanting to touch him everywhere he’ll let me.

  He’s perfection, standing still for me to gaze at.

  I’m so focused on his hard abs, defined chest, and arms that I don’t even realize he’s taken off his pants, until he adds them on top of the couch by his shirt. Shaking myself out of my lustful daze, Sebastian makes his way towards me. With each step, my heart pounds, and I wonder if he can hear it. Lord knows that’s all I can hear at the moment. My face warms, seeing his boxer briefs, hugging his cock just in all the right places.

  “Get in bed,” he commands, making me jerk my gaze away from his cock. Swallowing hard, I do as he says, wishing he hadn’t caught me staring. It’s hard not to though. Every time I’m around him, my eyes just find him, no matter where we are.

  It’s like I’m drawn to him, and I can’t stop it from happening.

  As I get in a comfortable spot, Sebastian does the same. We both lay on our backs for a few moments, before my nerves get the best of me. Turning over onto my side, I place a hand under my head, so I can look at him.

  To my surprise, he does the same, and then he reaches over. I sigh deeply, as he tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. It’s these small and tender touches that throw me for a loop. Is he doing this because he’s a caring Dom, or does he feel something more?

  Pushing those thoughts out of my mind, I decide I’ll think about them later. Right now, I just want to bask in this moment with him, hoping it doesn’t end any time soon. Just as I start to ask him what he’s doing here, he beats me to it. “Sleep, Trix.”

  I ignore him though, begging him with my gaze to touch me. He doesn’t though, and I sigh loudly, trying to gain his attention without asking for what I want from him. A smirk forms on his lips, and I know he knows what I want. I’m making this way to clear, so he would have to be dumb not to pick up on my hints.

  “Viktor asked me not to fuck you on his couch,” he states boldly, and I instantly let out a laugh. That’s what all the secret conversation in Russian was about, and why Ava suddenly got the giggles.

  I probably should push him for more, at least ask him to explain why he’s here next to me, but I don’t. Instead, he moves on his back, and then reaches for me. With my heart doing flips in my chest, I scoot closer, snuggling in against his side. Laying my head on his chest, I sigh deeply, as I take in his scent and warmth. It’s not long, until I’m completely and fully relaxed, and even more so, as he begins to run a hand through my hair.

  “Sleep, milyy pitomets. I’ll be here, when you wake.”

  Closing my eyes, I take in comfort, knowing he’ll be by my side. It’s all the reassurance I need to let myself fall into a deep sleep, letting myself live in the wild dreams of him and I together.

  Sitting on the couch at Sebastian’s apartment, he finally decides on what movie we’re going to watch tonight. I honestly don’t care what he picks, because I already know where my attention is going to be.

  Watching him, as he figures out how to work the DVD player, I let out a laugh, seeing him struggle. “Do you need some help?”

  He turns back to me, smirking, as he says, “I think I can manage. Next time, I’ll just order it off iTunes or something else less complicated.”

  Poor guy.

  Apparently, he’s never used the DVD player he bought a while back, so he’s just now figuring out how to use the thing. As he finally gets the movie playing, he walks back towards me, and then takes a seat beside me. I instantly move closer, as he beckons me to, and I fight against the rush of butterflies in my belly.

  I still haven’t worked up the courage to ask him what’s really going on between us. I’m scared of what his answer will be for one, and I’m also worried he’s not aware of what he’s doing. Last night, at Ava’s house, could’ve just been his way of making sure I was alright. But then again, why did he ask me to come over just to hangout tonight? He’s confusing me with his actions, and honestly, he’s acting like we’re a couple.

  And then, there is the fact that my mother keeps calling to ask me, if I’m attending the fundraiser gala. The event is hosted every year by my father and his company, and each year, they give the funds raised to a charity. It’s a great event, especially if you’re looking to donate and drink.

  But this year, my mother is hounding me about bringing a date.

  Her words of displeasure roll around in my head, making me feel insecure about being single for so long. It’s no secret my mother disapproves of me and my lifestyle. She’d rather have me around just so she can show me off, and then try to convince all her rich friends her life is perfect. I really wish I didn’t have to go, but my father always reaches out to ask me to attend.

  I do it only for him, not for my bitch of a mother.

  Letting out a sigh, I feel Sebastian’s gaze on me. The movie plays, but I still have no idea what he chose. Plus, I’m not focused on the TV, either. There are just so many thoughts running rapid in my head, and it’s hard to just let them go. Apparently, I’ve developed a serious case of overthinking everything.

  “What’s on your mind, milyy pitomets?”

  Snapping out of my crazy thoughts, I shake my head, as I say, “It’s nothing.”

  Before I realize what’s happening, he’s moved me, so that I’m lying on my back, while he’s hovering on top of me. The sudden change in him sends my desire spiking, and I lick my lips, noticing how close he is. “Tell me,” he commands, and he knows I have no choice but to answer.

  I could defy him, but I don’t want to. Even something so simple, as answering him, when he demands it, is enough to send that delicious rush through me, knowing that it’ll please him. “Are you free next Saturday?” He frowns, as if he’s really thinking about it. I give him a moment to think it over, before I ask, “Would you go to a charity gala with me?” His intense gaze holds mine for a second, before I rush out, “My father and his company hosts it every year, and my mother is pressuring me to bring a date, and I thought, why not? I mean, I don’t know anyone else that would want to put up with any other stuck up rich snobs …”

  My words die, as I realize he’s smiling.

  He’s showing me one of those rare, genuine smiles that are only reserved for Gabbie a
nd Nikolai. For a moment, my breath completely leaves my lungs, because this smile is beyond beautiful. It changes his entire face, making him seem younger and more carefree. His teeth are so white and straight that I’m literally entranced.

  Not only is he smiling at me, but he also caresses my face, making my heart skip a beat. It’s in that very moment that I realize something big. It’s something that I’ve been denying myself from actually thinking about, because I shouldn’t feel this way about him this fast.

  But no matter how many times I tell myself what I feel isn’t real, I know it’s a lie.

  I’m falling in love with him.

  And this love isn’t slow or steady. It’s one of those instant, hard, and fast ones that take your breath away kind of love. It’s … scary to realize just how much I love him, and just how much I need him in my life. I’ve never needed anyone before, but yet, here I am, giving myself over to a man that probably doesn’t feel anything for me.

  “You think too much,” he claims, taking my lips suddenly, and I’m instantly snapped back to where I am.

  His kiss is so tender and sweet that for a moment I’m shocked by it. With Sebastian, it’s always been hard, demanding, and all consuming. But now, it’s almost as if he’s showing me a brand-new side of himself. It’s one that I like very much, and as he pulls away, all I can do is stare up at this beautiful yet, confusing man.

  “Yes, I’ll be your date. Just text me the details later.”

  “Okay, good,” I say, still stuck in a haze.

  As he helps me sit upright, he asks, “Want some popcorn?”

  “Sure,” I answer, but not fully aware of what’s going on around me. Watching him, as he gets up, my eyes follow him, as he walks into the kitchen.

  Taking in a deep breath, I remind myself it’s okay to feel the way I do about him. It’s alright to fall in love with someone like Sebastian, because he’s easy to fall for.