Addiction Read online

Page 13


  Once Dad shakes his hand, Sebastian gives me a heated glance, before walking off the dance floor. Swallowing hard, I turn towards Dad, taking his hand, as a new song begins to play softly.

  “So, who’s the charming young man you brought with you?”

  “Dad, please,” I say with a shake of my head.

  “I just want to know who my little girl is hanging around with.”

  This is what I love about him the most. There is only concern for me and no judgment whatsoever. He’s always been the one to care about me, and the things I wanted. “Don’t worry, Dad. Sebastian is one of the good ones. Although, I’m sure Mother wouldn’t agree.”

  Dad scoffs at that, and I know he agrees. “Your mother is a hard one to please, but I’m sure she’s just looking out for you, too. In her own way, she does love you, Trixie.”

  I want to argue with him, but I don’t. We’ve had this conversation so many times, and it’s starting to become like a broken record. The only reason why my parents are still together is because my mother flat out refuses to divorce him. She’s so worried about her social status that she’d rather be miserable, and in return, make my dad miserable. Dad claims he’s happy in his own way, but I don’t really believe him. However, it’s none of my business, so I keep my thoughts to myself. Instead, I let him lead me in a slow pace with the song, as I search for Sebastian.

  I find him standing not far away, watching me, too.

  So distracted by him, I don’t realize my mother making her way over to us. “Richard, come now. Our guests are waiting,” she sneers at me.

  “I’m trying to have a moment with my daughter,” Dad snaps back.

  I hold my breath, knowing that’s not going to go over so well with her. Mother hates to be put second. “Darling,” she says, but it’s said with such distain that I have to clench my jaw. The last thing I want is to make a scene, and slapping my mother, isn’t something I should even be thinking about much less actually doing it.

  “There are more important people here to talk to other than Beatrice. Plus, the mayor is here, and your presence is needed.” It’s at this point Dad and I stop dancing. He takes a step back, looking at my mother with anger and frustration. “I said come and stop this nonsense.”

  Any other time, Dad would’ve stood up to her. He would’ve knocked her off her high horse and told her where to shove it. But tonight, we’re in a public place, and now is not the time to cause trouble. It still hurts that my own mother acts this way towards me, but at the same time, I should’ve known it was coming.

  Feeling a hand on my lower back, I turn my head, seeing Sebastian standing by my side. Comfort and appreciation flow through me, knowing he’s here to support me. As Dad notices him as well, he gives me a smile, leaning down to place a kiss on my cheek.

  “Don’t worry about her,” he calmly says, and I know it’s his way of reminding me he’s here for me.

  Unfortunately, his kind gesture angers Mother further. Her hard gaze turns cold, as she states, “You’re an embarrassment, Beatrice. Look at you, dressed like a tramp at a formal gathering, and you refuse to leave your father alone. He’s needed elsewhere, so I suggest you take your leave.”

  My chest clenches, because her words hit right where she wanted. Swallowing hard, I drop my head, and then walk away, as Dad says something to her that I miss. It wouldn’t matter, if I heard what he said anyway. She did exactly what she wanted, and I let her get to me.

  Quickly walking towards the private bathroom across the room, I immediately shut the door behind me, as I reach it. As hard as I try to keep her words out of my head, they fill my every thought. She knew what she was doing, and she always knows just what to say to make me feel like this. I can’t fathom why she tries her hardest to put me down at every chance she gets, and I hate myself even more for allowing it to affect me this way.

  Placing my hands on the sink, I shut my eyes, willing the tears not to come. I don’t want to cry. I don’t want to remember what she said to me. It’s not like I haven’t heard it all before, but fuck, it just hurts. It hurts to know my own mother despises me for an unknown reason.

  Just as I suck in a deep breath, the door opens, and I snap my eyes open, looking directly into green eyes. I’m not sure what it is about him suddenly coming to save me at every turn tonight, but I’m grateful he’s here. I don’t know what I would’ve done, if I hadn’t asked him to come.

  As he shuts the door behind him, he doesn’t utter a word, once it’s closed. Turning around, he makes his way to me, only stopping inches away. Concern is laced in his gaze, and it’s in that very moment, a single tear falls down my cheek. He watches it fall, and then uses his thumb to wipe it away.

  Once he looks at me, I hold his gaze, before licking my lips, and then whisper, “Please, sir. Make it stop.”

  His answer is a deep intake of breath, as both hands caress each side of my face. Waiting for him to either reject me or give me what I want, I hold my breath. As he searches for something in my gaze, I silently beg him to make me feel something other than disappointment and pain.

  I need him more now than I ever have before, and it’s up to him to give me what I need the most. It’s something more than the dominance and the commands he gives me. It’s the one thing I’ve been searching for, and I’m just now realizing what it is that I need more than anything else.

  Love.

  I need his love.

  I stand still, as he steps back, and I just know he’s denying me what I want. Instead, his gaze holds mine, as he locks the door to the bathroom. It’s in that very moment that I realize how much sexual tension is around us. It’s so thick that it’s hard to breathe properly.

  Panting, as he reaches me, I wonder if this feeling will ever go away. Will he always make my body hum with want and need with just his lustful gaze? I hope so. I hope I never lose any of these blissful sensations he seems to bring out of me.

  “Turn around,” he commands in a deep and raspy voice, and instantly, I do so. I’m so eager to forget about tonight and everything to do with my mother, and he’s the only person that can do that for me.

  Holding onto the sink again, I stand still, waiting for him to give another order. However, it doesn’t come. Instead, I hear the zipper of my dress slowly being pulled down, and then his hands are on both of my arms. He guides me to face him once more, and I frown, wondering what he’s doing.

  As he directs me out of my dress, I watch with curious eyes, as he hangs up the delicate material, ever so careful, as not to get it wrinkled. It’s so like him to think of my dress, and it just reminds me how he’s always putting me first. It may be something small, but he doesn’t want me to walk back out there with a wrinkled dress.

  Standing in my thong and a nude colored bra, my skin breaks out in goosebumps, as I watch him take off his tux jacket. He places it on top of my dress, and I lick my lips, when he untucks his white shirt. Next, he undoes the tie around his neck, and then I hold out my hands, knowing what he’s about to do.

  There are certain requirements that he needs from me every time we’re together. I know he needs to tie my hands, either in front of me or behind. The other is he always takes me from behind. I’ve never once questioned him about it, because I know deep down, he needs to be in complete and utter control over me. What better way to do that, than to tie up one’s hands and fuck them from behind? I honestly don’t mind, because once I’m around him, I’m content with anything he’ll give me.

  But he simply stares at me, as he tosses the tie to the side. I don’t have time to question what he’s up to, because he takes that moment to slowly unbutton his white dress shirt. Never once, does his gaze waver from mine, and it makes the moment between us sizzle with even more sexual tension.

  We both know what’s coming.

  Once he’s finished unbuttoning his shirt, he makes quick movements to take it off. I can’t seem to look away, as he does so. It seems as if I’m under some sort of trance, and it’s one that
I don’t want to break. It gets even harder to look away, once I see his hard chest. My eyes take him in, as if I’ve never seen him shirtless before, but Sebastian is the perfect package.

  Broad shoulders.

  Defined abs.

  Absolutely perfect.

  Licking my lips, I have to remember to keep my hands to myself. As many times as we’ve been together, I’ve never once touched him, during sex. Come to think of it, there hasn’t been hardly any touching on my part, unless when we’re asleep. He’s never given me the opportunity, and an uncontrollable urge to run my hands all over him comes over me. I long to feel his warmth beneath my fingertips, and to feel the beat of his heart against my hands.

  As he takes one step forward, I lift my gaze and instantly have to suck in a deep breath. It still shocks me at all the sensations that rush through me every single time that he looks at me that way. I know better than to think it’s more than just lust and desire, laced in his green eyes, but a part of me, hopes for more.

  Sucking in another deep breath, Sebastian is suddenly hovering by my mouth, as one hand cups my cheek, while the other holds me close on my back. Still unsure of what to do with my hands, I make sure to keep them on the sink’s counter. I don’t dare move them, because I’m afraid of what might happen if I do.

  And then, his mouth is on mine.

  Every thought I had a second ago vanishes, as his taste and tongue dive deep inside my mouth, stealing my breath. He controls every piece of me, dominating me in the most delectable way possible. For the first time tonight, I relish these sensations. All of my burdens disappear, along with any thoughts of feeling worthless. Sebastian makes me feel so wanted and desired. With him, I feel cherished, like I’m the only important person in his life, and just experiencing those emotions with him, is powerful in itself.

  As he tilts my head to the side, his hands move to mine. He doesn’t miss a beat with controlling my mouth with his own, but I do pull away, when I realize what he’s done with my hands. Blinking away my confusion, I find his gaze once more. He’s placed my hands on his chest, and it’s all the permission I need.

  In this moment, I understand what he’s telling me, as I take the rare chance to run my hands up, and finally stop, once they’re around his neck. The movement places my breasts on his chest, and I lean in, seeking more of his addictive mouth. He doesn’t immediately give me what I crave, instead he brushes my hair back out of the way, and then cups my cheek. As our gaze locks, something changes drastically between us. It’s as if I know what he’s trying to tell me without words.

  I know because I can sense it.

  I feel it.

  He may not love me, but there is more to us than just a Dom and a submissive relationship.

  That one moment seems to stop time, as if nothing else in the world matters. It’s only him and me here, trying to tell each other something major, but without speaking the actual words. I take that very moment to slide my right hand down to his chest, resting right over his racing heart. I feel it pounding so hard in his chest, and I notice mine is beating just as fast.

  And then, something inside both of us snaps.

  Our mouths crash into each other, seeming unable to get there fast enough. He kisses me hard and fast, as if he can’t get enough. I return my kiss the exact same way, unable to help myself. It’s like we are both starving, and we’ve finally found our nourishment in each other. We’re hungry and greedy for anything from each other.

  We only stop for a moment, as I desperately try to hurry up and free myself of the bra, while he quickly unbuttons his dress slacks. Just as I’m sliding down my thong, I’m suddenly being picked up, and then placed gently onto the counter. My skimpy underwear is barely hanging around my ankle, but I don’t care. Now that I’m free of all of my clothes, my pussy clenches, wanting and needing to be filled.

  Sebastian holds me still with a hand on my back, as he kisses me again, and uses the other hand to make sure I’m ready to take him inside of me. I moan loudly into his mouth, feeling his skillful fingers touching my clit, and he groans, as he realizes just how ready I am for him. As he pulls away, my entire body craves more instantly. He’s like a drug, or how I’d imagine taking drugs would be like. The second he stops anything he’s doing to me, I’m instantly needing my next fix.

  Thankfully, he doesn’t make me wait long at all. Holding his gaze, he uses his hand to help guide himself inside of me. The slow stretch feels so fucking good, and I let my head fall back, as he takes his time.

  This isn’t the first time we’ve fucked without using a condom. It’s happened a few times before, and I’m glad he doesn’t take the time to use one now. I’ve been very open about using birth control, because the first time we forgot the condom, he sort of freaked out about it. Now, it seems he’s in such a rush that a condom is the last thing on his mind.

  Once he’s inside of me all the way, he uses his free hand, directing me to look at him. That hand never moves, as I clench around him, and then he lets out a groan. Feeling his hard cock jump inside of me, I suck in a breath, loving that move very much. He smirks, as if he knows exactly what he’s doing to me.

  “As much as I wish I could take my time with you and savor this,” he harshly states, and then clenches his jaw. “We need to make this quick, so when I tell you to come, you fucking come.”

  “Yes, sir,” I quickly answer.

  “Good girl. Now, watch,” he demands, and at first, I don’t understand what he means. Well, not until he slowly slides out of me, and then pushes back in.

  My gaze drops down, so I can watch him, sliding in and out of me, as if I have no control over it at all. I’m drawn to the sensation, mixed with his command, and I’m helpless not to obey. Seeing my essence on his hard cock every single time he pulls out, makes me want to come right then and there. It makes my stomach clench, as my need for him intensifies even more than before.

  Unfortunately, he doesn’t let me watch for long. Using his fingers, he lifts my chin up, directing me to keep his gaze. The second I do I have to open my mouth to let out a loud moan. The connection to him is so strong, and I swear I can feel it touching my soul. It’s like he’s branding me without even realizing it. As he fucks me harder and faster, the emotions he’s making me feel, and then all the pleasure, brings me closer to the edge.

  Even more so, as he begins to rub my clit with his thumb. There is so much rushing through me, and it’s hard to separate them. Instead of fighting against the love I feel, I let it merge with the pleasure he’s making me experience. The moment I do my legs begin to shake, as I cry out, begging for release.

  “Now, Trixie. Come now,” Sebastian commands, and then kisses me hard. The second his tongue enters my mouth I let go, moaning into his mouth, as my orgasm flows through me.

  He holds me close, as he lets me ride out my orgasm, but he continues to fuck me harder and faster, trying to find his release. Wrapping my legs around him, I move my hands down to his back, gripping him tightly not only with my body, but with my pussy as well. The new position does what I thought it would, and he pulls away from my mouth, letting out a loud groan, as he finds his own release.

  Seeing the look of pure bliss on his face for the first time is unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. It makes me regret that I’ve just now watched this moment happen, because seeing him let go, it’s utterly captivating.

  He stills inside of me, and nothing but our heavy panting, fills the room. We stay that way for a few moments, before he leans up, bringing me with him. With my legs still wrapped around his waist, I hold onto him by his arms, holding his gaze. Staring into his green eyes, my heart begins to race, as the urge to tell him how I feel comes over me.

  Before I can stop myself, I whisper, “I love you, Sebastian.”

  I know he heard me, since his eyes widen for a moment, and he doesn’t move or breathe for a few seconds. His jaw clenches, as he looks away, and my stomach drops, knowing I’ve fucked up badly. Honestly, I didn’t
think his reaction would be this bad, but I’ve obviously misjudged the situation. He refuses to look at me again, and I open my mouth to say something, anything, to diffuse the bomb that’s about to explode.

  But I don’t get that chance.

  A loud knock sounds at the door, letting us both know someone is outside. “It’s occupied,” Sebastian barks out, and then moves away from me completely.

  The sudden rush of coldness comes over me, and I wrap my arms around myself, not only to warm up a bit, but because I’m holding myself together. I’m moments away from breaking down, and I can’t let him see me fall apart.

  I knew he was a hard man to love, but I thought … I thought he felt the same way. Maybe, he does and just doesn’t want to admit it, but the fact of the matter is, I expressed my true feelings, and he rejected me.

  That rejection was like a slap in the face, and I realize now what I have to do next.

  Unlocking the door to my apartment, I walk inside and head straight to my bedroom. I ignore the door being shut behind me mostly because I know Sebastian is still here. I don’t know why he’s staying. I don’t know why he’s bothering to wait for me either.

  What I do know?

  I’m going to find out once and for all how he feels.

  Once I’m changed into a shirt and comfortable shorts, I take a deep breath, reminding myself that I can do this. Walking back into the living room, I find him leaning against the half wall that separates the kitchen from the main room. His arms are crossed, as he stares down at his feet, and he doesn’t realize I’m in the room with him, until I clear my throat.

  As his gaze finds mine, I try my hardest to keep my voice even, as I say, “Sebastian, what I said tonight … I meant exactly what I said.”

  He looks away, as he nods his head, before he calmly states, “I know.” I frown, wondering where he’s going with this. “It’s normal for a sub to develop feelings for their Dom. It’s perfectly natural to think that you love me, Trixie.”