Addiction Page 2

  He doesn’t want me the way I want him.

  It was clear, when he looked at me dead in the eyes one night after closing, and then chose to turn away from me. I could chalk it up to the fact that he’s following his brother’s rules of no fraternizing with employees, but clearly, Viktor doesn’t care about that. His soon to be wife used to work here too, and that didn’t stop him from claiming her for his own. Or maybe, Sebastian just has his own set of rules that he wants to follow. Either way, I know deep down, if he wanted me, he would’ve taken me already. He doesn’t seem like the type to not go after something, or even someone he wants.

  “Hey, Trix. How’s it going?”

  Glancing up, Kendra, another dancer that I’ve become friends with, takes her seat at her vanity beside mine. She has been dancing at The Gentlemen’s Club, since it opened, and she took me under her wing, as soon as she realized that I was new to the club.

  “Hey, Kendra.”

  “Okay, what’s up with the sad face? Didn’t you just bring in a shit ton of money tonight?” She asks, laying a hand on my thigh.

  Taking her hand, I hold onto it, grateful she’s offering comfort. “Yeah, I did, but that’s not why I’m in a funky mood.” Holding her gaze, I confess, “I think it’s time I left the club.”

  Her eyes widen, and she sits up straighter in her chair. “So, you want to leave the club. Why, Trix? Seriously, what’s going on with you?”

  Pushing out a breath, I run a hand through my messy curls. “Do you remember, when I first started dancing?” With her nod, I continue, “Well, back then, I was so excited to be here. Dancing out on that stage, I felt alive and … I just felt this thrill.”

  “And now?” She asks, concern evident in her voice.

  Sighing, I look down at our joined hands. “Now, I don’t feel anything anymore. I thought being here would fill the void inside of me, and it did for a while. But no matter how many times I’m out there, my heart doesn’t race anymore. I don’t feel the rush of adrenaline. This is nothing more than a job to me.”

  “So, I’m assuming, when you danced, it felt like a sexual high?”

  Frowning, I glance up. “Yeah. That’s exactly it.”

  “And you don’t feel any of that anymore?”

  Wondering where she’s going with this, I answer, “No.”

  Her blue eyes seem to brighten with excitement, as she asks, “Do you want to feel all of that again, plus more?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  Kendra takes both of my hands, as she says, “Just trust me on this.” She leans back, using one hand to touch the collar around her throat. I always thought it was a part of her act, something she wore only at the club. Kendra and I might be friends, but she’s also a very private person. I only know bits and pieces of her life, and I don’t want to pry, but now, I wish I had. I wish I knew why she touches that collar with such reverence, as if it means so much to her. Not to mention, it’s beautiful. The black leather compliments her porcelain skin, and the sapphire jewel, on the middle of it, matches her eyes.

  “Come out with me tomorrow night. I want to show you something that I think will help.”

  “Okay, but,” I stay sternly. “Do not make me drink Vodka. I can’t stomach that shit after the last time we went out.”

  Kendra laughs, thankfully agreeing with me. Watching her, as she gets up, she says, “I’ll swing by your place to pick you up around ten. Weston is going to flip, but he’ll get over it.” Weston is her husband, and they’ve been married for a long time now. “Oh, hey. Before I forget, do you know if Ava is going to invite anyone from the club to the wedding?”

  Viktor and Ava met a couple of years ago, when Ava was eight months pregnant. With another man’s baby. Ava has told me the story before, but I still can’t wrap my mind around the history between her and Viktor. However, they make it work and are tying the knot next month.

  “I’m sure she will. I mean, I’m the maid of honor, so that has to be a good sign.”

  “Good. I really want to see them at their happiest moment. Plus, it’s been a while, since I’ve seen either of them, so it’ll be nice to catch up.”

  “I’ll be sure to pass the message along. I’m going over there next week to help out with some last-minute wedding plans.” I’ve had to force Ava to let me help out more. She’s four months pregnant, plus she already has a one and a three-year-old. The poor woman just doesn’t like to ask for help, but I love going over there and spending time with Gabbie and Nikolai.

  “Be sure to give those babies kisses from me, too.” Nodding, Kendra walks away and starts to get ready for her turn on stage.

  I start to do the same, only I’m packing up to leave for the night. As I’m stuffing my things into my tote bag, my entire body begins to tingle with awareness. The sensation shocks me, since I haven’t felt it in so long. For a moment, I think I might be losing my mind, but then, I stand tall and glance towards the locker room door.

  And there he is, leaning against the wall with his legs crossed at his ankles.

  He stares right at me, as if he’s daring me to come towards him, and I almost do. I almost listen to the silent demand to come to him.

  But then, I remember he doesn’t want me. Not really.

  So, I turn away, finish packing my things, and then say my goodbyes to the girls. Walking out of the locker room, my eyes stay down at my feet, knowing he’ll still be there watching and waiting for … something.

  When I finally find the courage to look up, I stop in my tracks.

  He left.

  He’s gone, and I feel as if I failed some sort of test.

  As Kendra drives, I look out of the passenger side window. I’m curious as to where she’s taking me, and for the first time in months, excitement and anticipation fill me. I’m not sure how many times I ask Kendra to tell me where we’re going, but each and every time, she denies me an answer. I guess in a way, I’m glad she doesn’t answer, because not knowing, makes the excitement that much sweeter.

  After a few more moments of silence, I finally break it, once she takes a right and heads into a parking garage. “Hey, Kendra. You mind giving me some sort of hint or something?”

  She doesn’t answer, until she finds a parking spot. I frown, noticing how many vehicles are here, and I wonder why there are so many. We’re in the middle of nowhere, so it makes no sense, as to why there is some random parking garage here. “Before we go inside, you’ll need this.”

  Quickly turning towards her, I glance at her out stretched hand. Tilting my head, I stare at the deep red bracelet. “Why do I need this?” I ask, taking the bracelet from her.

  “Trust me. You’ll need it.” My gaze finds her, and I watch her intently, as she checks over her appearance in the rearview mirror. Her long, blonde hair is pinned back, and of course, her collar is on. It’s not until she touches up her lipstick that I see she’s also wearing a bracelet. Hers however, is a black and white one that’s braided. “Are you ready?”

  Shaking myself out of the daze I was in, I nod, and then get out of the car. Kendra leads the way, and I quietly follow behind her. We reach an elevator, and as we step inside, my heart begins to race. The elevator door closes, and I swallow hard, knowing that whatever I’m about to face, will do one of two things. It’ll either give me what I’m searching for, like Kendra believes, or it’ll just be another night out on the town. I won’t lie and say I’m hoping for the former. I want this empty void to go away, and I really want something to satisfy this growing need inside of me.

  It would really help though, if I knew what the hell it is that I’ve been searching for.

  Once the elevator doors open again, my eyes widen, as my mouth opens. We didn’t go up. We went down.

  We went down to a … night club?

  “Addiction” by Big K.R.I.T. booms so loud on the speakers that I have to suck in a breath. The bass is thumping so hard that I literally feel the pulses throughout my body. As we walk out of the elevator,
Kendra waves and smiles at the security guards that I just noticed, standing by the elevator. My eyes track every single thing about where I am, but not a single thought forms in my mind. I can only blindly follow behind Kendra, as she reaches what I’m assuming is some sort of check in counter. What is this place? I’m not getting the normal night club vibe.

  The woman on the other side is behind a glass, and she smiles, as she seems to recognize Kendra. All I can do is stare and wonder why she brought me here. “Trix? Trixie?” Blinking quickly, I glance at Kendra. “You alright?”

  “I … I’m. Uh. What is this place?”

  “Okay, so don’t freak out, but I sort of brought you to a … sex club.”

  “A sex club,” I deadpan.

  “Don’t worry,” she claims in a soft but loud voice. “My first time was … it was a lot to take in. But right now, you need to show her,” she says, as she points to the lady behind the glass. “Your band, and she needs to stamp your hand, too.”

  In some sort of daze, I do as Kendra commands. Once the woman stamps my hand with a big black X, she states, “This is only good for tonight, and it lets everyone know that you’re a guest.”

  Nodding, I back away, staring at the new mark on my hand. “They change the letters each night. Especially, when it’s guest night,” Kendra tells me loudly, as she takes my hand.

  She leads me further inside the club, and as I glance around, I suddenly start to feel at ease. A calming rush flows through me, and I begin to relax. This place is so big and open. There is a long horizontal stage to my right, and I stop to watch the performers dance. Upon closer inspection, I realize all the dancers, male and female, are completely naked. It makes their dancing seem more elegant, and even more erotic. Pulling my gaze away from them, I notice tables, leather couches, and various chairs spread out. Some people sit, while some drink, but then, I notice what some, well, most of them, are doing.

  There is a couple using one of the chairs for a lap dance. To anyone looking, it’s as if the woman is just giving the man a show. But to me, I see the difference. The woman is half naked, only wearing panties and heels, and the guy is fully dressed. Watching them closer, the man is holding onto something. My eyebrows raise, as I see the silver chain. It’s attached to a collar around her neck, and the man is holding onto the end.

  Is that a leash?

  At one of the tables, a man sits calmly, sipping his drink, as a woman with another collar sits at his feet. The act seems degrading at first, until I notice the man touching her with such loving care. She leans on him, as if she’s searching for his touch alone.

  Another man has a woman leaned down, and I watch in amazement, as he spanks her hard. The woman seems to be enjoying the hard smacks, because each time his hand connects to her ass, she tosses her head back with pure pleasure written all over her face.

  There are so many people in here that it’s hard to think or concentrate on one thing. There is just too much going on. Sex oozes all over the place, and my face warms, as the feeling starts to work its way in me, too.

  My body slowly starts to awaken, as if it’s been in a long slumber for the winter. Wetness begins to pool in-between my legs, as I continue to watch the scenes before me. I don’t even realize, until Kendra pulls me by the hand, that I’ve just been standing still as a statue, gazing at all these beautiful people.

  She leads me once more towards a bar in the middle of the room, and as she orders drinks, I look around more. I’m trying to take all of this in, because I need to remember every single detail about this place. Something is telling me that I belong here. It’s also telling me that this place holds the key to what I’ve been desperately searching for.

  “The guys should be here soon,” Kendra yells over the music.

  “Guys? What guys?” She doesn’t immediately answer me, as she casually takes a drink of her beer, and then hands one to me. I hold onto it, wondering if it’s a good idea to drink or not.

  “One will loosen you up more. I needed one my first night.”

  Thinking she’s right, I sip the cold beer, letting the tangy, yet bitter taste, fill my mouth. My eyes can’t seem to focus on just one thing tonight, so I don’t bother trying to stop myself from ogling everyone here. I continue sipping on my beer, as Kendra watches me watch them.

  After a while, and after my beer is gone, I turn to face her. “I’m seriously overdressed.”

  Since Kendra wouldn’t tell me where she was taking me, I decided on a strapless, black cocktail dress. The length is short, and even in my heels, I’m still wearing way more clothes than anyone else here. Well, besides Kendra. She’s got on a black corset, paired with leather pants, and knee-high boots. I’ve never told her, but I really want to steal those boots from her. They are five inches high, but they go with pretty much anything you can think of to wear.

  “That’s my bad, but you look hot in that dress.” I start to thank her for the compliment, but the words leave me, as I see the look on her face. “There he is,” she says, and I turn around to see who she’s talking about.

  I honestly should’ve known it was her husband, Weston. The look on her face could’ve told me that. But nothing, and I mean nothing, could’ve prepared me for the man walking beside Weston.

  Sebastian Matvei.

  My entire body instantly turns hot, as if someone thought it would be a good idea to turn on the heat full blast. With my heart pounding in my chest and ears, all I can do is stare at the man I’ve craved for the longest time. He notices me, of course. I don’t think anything could get past him. His green eyes hold mine captive, like they always do, and I refuse to look away. This time, I refuse to fail his test, even if I don’t know if it’s actually a test.

  Either way, I don’t want to miss the way his eyes take me in, and how they seem to caress my entire body without touching me. I don’t even blink, as he walks closer to us. Finally, after it seems like hours have passed, he stands before me. Sucking in a ragged breath, my gaze lands on his lips, as he uses a thumb to run over his bottom lip. That’s when I notice his bracelet is black, and Weston has one too, but his looks like Kendra’s. I need to know what these bands mean.

  “Welcome to Sensuality,” Kendra boasts loudly.

  “We should go find a room, before they’re all gone,” Weston claims, and I frown.

  “Room? There are rooms here?” I hate to break the gaze with Sebastian, but I do, as Weston answers me.

  “Yes. In the other part of the club there are what?” He turns to Sebastian, and then asks, “Twenty private rooms?”

  “Yes.” Is all Sebastian says.

  Feeling his gaze back on me, I glance to him, and my face warms. Those green eyes stare back at me with such intensity, as I swallow hard. The look he’s giving me is filled with lust, desire, and a promise of something I’m not sure I’m ready for.

  “I reserved room thirteen for you, so you can go whenever you wish.” After another moment, he breaks our gaze, and then turns to Weston. “Enjoy your night.”

  He doesn’t utter a single word to me, as he walks off, and he doesn’t look back either. I’m not sure why that fills me with such disappointment, but it does. I watch him walk around the club, as he greets other men and women, and then nods at others. It’s not surprising that he does all of this like he owns the place. Does he own this club, too? As the thought crosses my mind, it makes sense.

  Turning towards Kendra, I start to ask her, but I stop, as I realize her demeanor has completely changed. Her eyes are downcast, and her hands are clasped together in front of her stomach. She stands straighter, even though she was upright before. Then, I notice Weston has changed, too. The vibe I’m getting from him is nothing but dominance. I’m completely shocked at how much, and how quickly they’ve changed from talking and laughing to … this.

  Watching them intently, Weston uses a hand to lightly brush across Kendra’s shoulder. I visibly see the intake of her breath, and even in the dim lights, I see her complexion redden, as g
oosebumps show up after.

  Weston whispers something in her ear, and Kendra quickly nods. “Use your words, kitten.” He commands, and I can’t stop the shiver that runs down my spine.

  It’s not Weston that makes me feel this way though.

  It’s that commanding voice.

  The demand.

  I won’t lie, it’s hard to watch and not partake. However, I’m so curious to find out what’s going on, so I stay where I am, willing my body to behave.

  “Yes, sir,” Kendra finally utters. She seems breathless, just as I’m becoming.

  “Good girl.” Weston praises, taking Kendra by the hand.

  Are they going to leave me here? Alone? As soon as the thought crosses my mind, Kendra locks gazes with me, and then completely shocks me, when she grabs my hand.

  “Kendra would like you to watch tonight. Are you okay with that?” Snapping my gaze to Weston, I consider what he’s actually asking me.

  It takes me so long to answer that Kendra turns to Weston and politely asks, “May I speak to her for a moment, sir?”

  How a question sounds so alluring is beyond me, but Kendra apparently knows what she’s doing. Weston gives her permission, and I dart my eyes to her, as he walks away, giving us some privacy.

  “Trixie, I think you should try this. I know it’ll be … different, but I firmly believe, if you see, then you’ll understand what it is you need.”

  “I’m confused, Kendra. Are you asking me to watch you and your … husband have sex?” I don’t think I can go through with that. Yes, a part of me is jumping to say fuck yes, but this is my friend. There are some lines you shouldn’t cross.

  Her eyes soften, as if she already knows what I’m thinking. “I promise this is more for your benefit than mine. Well, I’m going to enjoy this a lot, because I’m a submissive, so I crave this. Trust me, Trix. If you feel uncomfortable at all, you can leave. No one will make you stay, if you don’t want to.”